Smile...
A little smile
Just for me...
Show me your smiling eyes
Set your laugh free

I know it's in you
I saw it on your face before
A smile so sweet
Want to taste it once more

I'll be your clown
I'll dance around
Just to see the look on your face
For just a little taste
So, smile...
A little smile...
Just for me - please?

Posted by lilyput at 01:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Posted by lilyput at 08:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Posted by lilyput at 04:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

1. Acquire 3 full-time dog walking clients
2. Pay off debts & start saving money
3. Weigh 130lbs & have muscle tone
4. Sew & Sell lots of clothes
5. Renew Professional Pet Sitter Certification
6. Obtain a credit card (ugh!)
7. Purchase a new used car (green Honda Element, please!)
8. Move into my own apartment
9. Get Veterinary Asst. Certification
10. Weekend travel at least once a month

This list will obviously grow in time.

Posted by lilyput at 08:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've been moving out slowly (but surely). I want to move out ASAP, not because I want to get away from Stefan immediately, but because I want to start my new life already. My plan is to get settled into my place, set up my sewing area, get dog walking business cards printed out, then going out & get more work. I'm going to walk around the neighborhood & pass out my new business cards in hopes to get at least 7 more full-time clients. If I can get 7-9 new clients, can start paying off my old debts, save up for a new car, save up for an apartment, then go to a 2-year school for Veterinarian Assistant certification. I want to get certified, so I can get a job right away when I move out of Chicago. Because I highly doubt I'd be able to get 10-12 dog walking clients quick enough to afford to live wherever it is I'll be moving to.

So, that's my plan. Move out, get more dog walking clients, save money for car & apartment, move out again, go to school, then get the fuck out of Chicago. I'm hoping to improve my credit score before getting a new car or an apartment, but that could take some time. Once I pay off my old debts, I'm hoping I can get a credit card. Yes, I said it. Ms. I'm-Never-Gonna-Own-A-Credit-Card actually wants one! I'll be sure to have some savings before getting one.

I'm crossing my fingers that my plans will pan out. My biggest fear is that disputes between my parents & I will deter me from reaching my goals. Why? Because they LOVE to make me feel like the biggest loser, which in turns makes me want to prove to them that I'm the biggest loser. I know I'm better than that & that I should ignore them, which is what I'm going to do when I'm living in their house. I hope I'm strong enough to keep it up, because my underlying goal is to be able to support myself without ever having to ask them for help again. I have to remind myself every day that if I can support myself completely without needing their help, I never have to see them again - only on holidays.

LET'S DO THIS!

Posted by lilyput at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

As I get older, I'm finding it harder to find a partner in crime. I'm nocturnal & can stay up until sunrise, but most of my friends can't come out to play like the old days. So, I'm finding that I have to do solo crime sprees of short road trips, late night movies, social drinking, etc. It feels lonely, especially since I'm just getting out of a relationship. I find myself staying up late just surfing the net or playing video games just to pass the time.

I'm sure this feeling will pass once I've settled into my new place & have things organized, but for the next week, I'm screaming inside for distraction. I guess the only thing I can do is start packing & slowly moving my things out of the apartment I share with my recent ex. It's weird to say...

Posted by lilyput at 10:37 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

My life is a bit discombobulated right now. Work is a little slow, money is tight, & love is lost. I'm trying to sort through everything - you know, figure things out. I feel like it's time for a change for the better. I need to get back into my happy shoes & inspire myself.

One of the things I would like to do is lose all this weight I gained within the past 3½ years. I went from 135lbs to 165lbs. I've constantly be talking about losing this weight, but never really doing anything about it. Over the weekend, I began exercising. I decided to start off slowly by doing 30 minutes on my step machine every other day, then pick it up to 1 hour until I can do 1 hour/day. I don't know how long I can keep it up, but I will definitely try. I want to say goodbye to my double chin & beer belly. Beer bellies are just not attractive on a lady.

Another thing I need to do is clean up the apartment & pack up my things. I'm moving in with my parents for a while. I have to help my dad clean out the basement, because they started using the space for storage. I really don't like moving, but what can I do?

Since I'm on my own, I have to start saving money for an apartment, which means I'll need another job. I can't decided if I should expand my dog walking service or get a new career. I love dog walking, my dogs, & my clients are so nice. It would be hard to let go, but if I can't sign up 5 more clients in the next few months, I may have to look for something else to do - maybe a night job.

I definitely need to start sewing again. I have so many new ideas & I'm ready to get back into designing. Once I move & have everything set up, that'll be my 1st priority. Maybe if I throw out all my store-bought clothes, it'll force me to sew.

Lastly, I need to sort out my feelings. I believe that when I start doing things for myself again, making myself happy & doing things I enjoy, I can start to love again. I'm hoping that's the solution to my ♥ problems. I'm hoping that I'm not making a mistake. I can't go back to being unhappy with myself for the sake of ♥. I don't know why or even how I ended up doing that. I guess ♥ does make people do crazy things.

Posted by lilyput at 10:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)